Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Bullying Day

Today is a day chosen to speak out against bullying.  Recent events, including a freshman college student who committed suicide because his roommate and another person decided it was ok to broadcast him having sex with another man live on a webcam has brought to light a situation that is out of control.  Kids start at an early age picking on others who are different or weaker than they are.  Parents don't take it seriously and schools make a 'no tolerance' proclamation which is a joke and not enforced.

I was bullied growing up.   My first experience was in about 3rd grade where the older sister of one of my classmates decided that I was fair game and proceeded to follow me while I was walking to school and call me names and throw rocks at me all the way.  This went on until my mom called her mom and the following stopped although I did get called names when she did see me.  I was very shy and cannot imagine what could have possibly brought this on.  I certainly never fought back, verbally or physically.   I can honestly remember laying in bed at night crying and dreaming of ways to kill her.  She let up after about a year for some unexplained reason.  Probably found a new victim.

My 2nd experience was in my sophomore year of high school where, still shy, 2 girls decided to call me names and make fun of me and put gum in my hair on a regular basis.  I was overweight and new in school and again, an easy target.  Luckily, I only attended that school for a couple of months so I'm sure they too found another victim after I left.  One of the girls and I have a mutual cousin and she knew me but she was actually the follower.   I may have seen her over the years but she is not really in my orbit in any way so she is ...whatever.   The leader was very popular at the time and I take a little joy in the fact that I think she's had a pretty miserable life.   Failed marriages, financial problems and a sweet daughter that was raised by her sweet grandparents.

The problem is of course magnified because of the internet and particularly networking sights like Facebook and My Space.  Kids and even adults use these sights to make fun of or tease or even set someone up for major heartache and humiliations.  They again pick a target and find a weakness and prey on insecurity and lack of confidence to make someone else feel less while making themselves feel better.    There was even a case where a mom set up a fake My Space account portraying herself as a teen boy who then contacted a little girl who her daughter had problems with, flirted with the little girl and then dumped her telling her that she was worthless and should just kill herself.  This woman was allowed to reproduce mind you!!    The little girl took her advice...she killed herself.  There are too many of these stories to document but they seem to pop up every day.  Sadly the mom did not break any laws on the books at the time and was not convicted of anything.    She would like us all to be sad that she had to move out of her neighborhood, that she was shunned by friends and had to close her business.  Sorry bitch...not sad.    Cases like hers have painted this problem in a new picture and have at least started a dialogue about anti bullying laws.  Its not a done deal yet but I guess it's progress.

So count me in as saying out loud that bullying is in not now nor was it 45 years ago acceptable.   It does not matter if someone is smaller or weaker, if you don't like their name, nationality, skin color, sexual orientation, tennis shoes or taste in soft drinks.  You don't have that right.  Trust me, you wouldn't like it if it were happening to you.  It doesn't run or ruin my life but I have never forgotten.  Parents, schools and lawmakers need to let all know that it is NOT ACCEPTABLE to bully another person and that consequences apply!!

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