The nail has finaly been hit on the head...

On June 18 I will walk away from a really good paying job that I have worked at for 25 years and I will walk into the unknown. This is not a secret. I know people probably think I am crazy and maybe I am. And while I can explain that my company is not the same company I went to work for it's hard to explain beyond that. Then today, after another crazy busy day I was walking out with Jan and she said something that brought things into the light. Her observation was that she can't fix our company because it is not fixable. I've always known that but I have always taken pride in the fact that even if my customer hated my company, he left my desk knowing that I did everything I could to make him happy and to fix his problem. Now I can not only not fix the company, now my ability to provide quality customer service is diminished to a level that I can't live with. I need to be able to treat people the way I want to be treated and I no longer have the ability to do that because customer service is not possible. We are expected to accomplish things that drive any personalized service right out the door because there is too much to do and too little time to do it in. Thy want less people to do more work for less compensation. Everyone is stressed out, everyone has too much to do and while some are willing to help, most have had any caring driven right out of them. I need to work for a company who values their customers more than my company does Its time to move on.

121 days according to my Iphone countdown App.

Chopped

So who has the snottiest, snobby faces while tasting the food?

Alex Guarnashelli or Amanda Freitag?

What have either ever done? Has anyone other than Foodies ever even heard of then?

I'm pretty sure I'd not like either in real life because I don't like either as "tv personalities"

Comments

I basically write this blog for myself but I like people to actually read it. Not many do and that's ok but I am always excited when I get a comment. But lately my comments have been in Chinese and lead to semi nude oriental booty maids and that is offensive to me so now I have to moderate comments. Why the heck to people think they have the right to spoil someone else's things, even their blogs. Ok, spoil is a harsh word. It's not spoiled. But I am somewhat annoyed...

Valentines Day

The new definition is 'Single Life Awareness Day' or according to my cousin Mattea it's 'Thank you all of you stupid greeting card and candy companies for rubbing it in my face that I'm single day'

Yep, I'm jealous. I admit it.

A Single Man ^^Spoiler^^

I am a huge Colin Firth fan and he is nominated for an Academy Award for a movie called 'A Single Man'. The move is set in the early 60's and begins when George is notified that his long time partner Jim has been killed in a car accident. He is also told that the service for his partner is for "family only" and clearly, George is not considered family. He is basically left to mourn alone, with the exception of one friend who knew of his relationship. His friend is played by Julianne Moore as a boozy divorcee who at one time had been his lover. She'd like to rekindle their relationship but as George explains in a flashback of a conversation with Jim that even if he has had sex with women, he falls in love with men.

In the days following Jim's death we see glimpses of Georges life at work (he is a college professor), at home and in encounters with 2 young men who see into the secret life he lives. One is a casual meeting in a parking lot that goes nowhere while the other is one of his students who basically stalks him. The student Kenny appears to be confused about his sexuality and is obviously attracted to George. Other than a little skinny dipping there is nothing shown on screen between them but I think that this was actually more provocative than 'Brokeback Mountain' . I was actually uncormfortable watching some of the scenes.

The ending was pretty strange....George had lined his ducks up to commit suicide and decides not to but then apparently dies of a heart attack.

I have not totally digested the movie but am thinking I would not recommend it even though I thought Colin Firth did a good job. And I don't ever need to see it again.


** our of ***** For Colin. But sorry, I think no Oscar.

February 3

I know it's tomorrow but I need to write tonight.

On February 3, 1993 I lost my Mom. Technically I'd lost her before that but her body remained on this earth until that date. Then she was called home to Glory, where I hope she's been walking and is now clear headed and sitting between my sisters at a slot machine, waiting for me to show up someday. And I know that sitting next to Cathy, she's broke. We used to joke that the fastest way to lose money in Vegas is to sit down next to my sister. And in a while, Mom will do what she did for more than 50 years, go home to Daddy and take care of him because he's there too.

Patty Loveless sings a song called 'How can I help you to say goodbye' and here is the last verse:

Sitting with Mama, alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand
She said, I have to go now, my time here is over
And with her final words she tried to help me understand
Mama whispered softly, time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, how can I help you to say goodbye
It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry
Come let me hold you, and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye


Time has eased my pain but I miss my mama every day of my life. She was the best!! And now I need to go cry.

John Edwards

I got my People Magazine yesteray and on the cover is Elizabeth Edwards, the wife of John Edwards, the former senator from the state of South Carolina and former presidential candidate. It chronicles Elizabeth's journey for the last 3 years as she's been diagnosed with breast cancer and is now in stage 4 and 'incurable'. They have been married for more than 30 years, have 4 kids, went through the death of their son who I think was killed by a drunk driver, have been through 2 presidential campaigns and have faced this cancer for a few years. Then, last year the rumors start that he has had an affair with a campaign worker and that he has another daughter. At first he denied the affair, then conceded the affair but denied the child. Now it comes out that he has indeed acknowledgted that the precious little girl is his.

Now we find out that Elizabeth has known of the affair for a couple of years and she found out about the child this summer. I have to wonder why she stayed, why she did not show his sorry butt the door but instead she's tried to make things work. She was out of remission and stood beside him as he ran for president even though it probably would have been better for her to be at home, for her health and her kids. She tried to work things out after she found out about the affair. She is dying and fought hard for a family so she can leave her little ones behind. But apparently, the baby was the final straw. Apparently divorce papers are drawn up. In a classy move, she went to meet the child and too her Christmas presents. John has moved out. She's ready to move on.

So to recap, this "man" married a good woman, made her promises, fathered her children, then had unprotectd sex with a bimbo, denied the affair, denied his child and broke the heart of the sick mother of his children

I can honestly say that this person is worse than Bill Clinton and who knew that was even possible. I can only thinks of one word to describe him. It's not a word that I use very often but sometimes its the only work that fits.

John Edwards is a FUCKER.