Mama and Daddy, I miss you.

February is a black month for me...I lost my mom February 3, 2003 & my dad on February 21,2009.  Cathy and Jo are gone too.  The pain of losing them has faded and the good memories have replaced the pain.  I always felt guilt that I did not do enough but I know now I did the best I could and that I did enough.  But I sure do miss them.

I don't like sharing things but its ok here since no one reads this blog.  I can get it off my chest without putting things on the line.  I am lonely.  More than I thought possible.  I survive ok but sometimes I am overwhelmed and this is one of those nights.  It's a big pity party.  I'm tired of being alone.  I'm tired of being lonely.  I'm not sure what bad thing I did but I must have done something or I would not hurt this bad.

I'll be ok again tomorrow.

Apparently, My Ideal Look

Virtual Me

This is me, well, virtual me, on Farmtown.  As anyone who has been around me knows, I am working very hard on getting healthy and losing some weight and am doing ok.   I have a ways to go but am happy with my progress.  I have learned today that this must be my ideal look as 2--yes 2, count them--people today on FT flirted with me.  I was just standing around, apparently looking very cute in my pink shirt and leggings, (thank goodness those overalls are gone!!) and Jim and Tony both decided I was the one to strike up a conversation with!!   Jim was more bold...he pm'd me and wanted me to add MSN messenger to talk to him while Tony just 'Private' messaged me right there in front of everyone.  Alas, I did not add MSN for Jim and I lost Tony when I went to chop trees for someone.   But I have decided this is the look I'm going for.  I hope I can find the exact sweater.  And the purple hair dye.   I have my work cut out for me!!

It's no longer gray...I think it looks good!!

Is that the most gorgeous picture ever?   I vote yes!!   Texas Tech campus, Will Rogers, Soapsuds, west Texas sunset.   Beautiful picture.   I did not take it...got it off Pinterest...not sure who did but major, major snaps.

Whitney Houston & The Star Spangled Banner

This is one of her shining moments.  The first Gulf War had begun.  We were at war.  She sang of pride in America. This is what I'll remember.  Now she's dead.  And I'm sorry she's dead but she was a junkie and the end of junkie is dead too young.  Her choice.  The truth is she is a woman who had it all...a truckload of talent, money, a family who loved her, a beautiful daughter.  And she chose to suck it up her nose and then piss it away.  It's time to stop idolizing her.  No sainthood for her.  There are a lot of talented people out there who make better choices.  They make better idols.

It's Gray

My blog, that is.   Needs a makeover.   Gonna go work on that.

February 2012 Snowday

It only lasted one day...it snowed all day yesterday and then it's 55 degrees right now so it's all gone already but we got a snowday from school because this morning was so crappy and it was pretty while it lasted.

My backyard:

Brrrrrrr

And Will Rogers:

Will Rogers and Soapsuds on a snowy Sunday afternoon

From John Stamos

I liked this so I saved it....Twitter from John Stamos on New Years Eve....obviously to everyone in general but I wanted to save it:

John Stamos (@JohnStamos) 12/31/11 7:11 PM whoever is reading this, you're beautiful and someone out there is crazy about u. so smile! life is 2 short to be unhappy. happy new year.