A chump and a fool

Yep, I am both and both are me.

I have spent my life pretty much alone.  At 56, I don't trust many.  I always care more for people than they care form me.  And I know this.  Yet I get my feelings hurt sometimes anyway.  Say when your nephew gets engaged and you find out on Facebook.  A nephew you loved from day one and who grew up in your house. I saw it this morning and I called and asked why he didn't tell and his response was it just happened and he had not told anyone.  And I told him I didn't think I was just anyone.  He said he was sorry but he was on the spot.  And I hung up and I cried.  I would have told him before I posted on Facebook.  But I would want him to share my joy first and I would tell him first because he's important in my life.  Obviously that feeling is one sided.  And I have to wonder how I am always in this situation. And it's because I'm a chump and a fool

For the record, I like the girl and I am happy for him and think he deserves to be happy.  Obviously, he does not need me.  At all.

Wallowing in self pity here.  Not a pretty sight.  And I'll be over it soon.  But right now, I hurt.