February 3

I know it's tomorrow but I need to write tonight.

On February 3, 1993 I lost my Mom. Technically I'd lost her before that but her body remained on this earth until that date. Then she was called home to Glory, where I hope she's been walking and is now clear headed and sitting between my sisters at a slot machine, waiting for me to show up someday. And I know that sitting next to Cathy, she's broke. We used to joke that the fastest way to lose money in Vegas is to sit down next to my sister. And in a while, Mom will do what she did for more than 50 years, go home to Daddy and take care of him because he's there too.

Patty Loveless sings a song called 'How can I help you to say goodbye' and here is the last verse:

Sitting with Mama, alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand
She said, I have to go now, my time here is over
And with her final words she tried to help me understand
Mama whispered softly, time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, how can I help you to say goodbye
It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry
Come let me hold you, and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye


Time has eased my pain but I miss my mama every day of my life. She was the best!! And now I need to go cry.